Book Review: Do It Scared
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Positive attributions: You produce high-quality work. You're a well organized person who pays great attention to detail.
Negative Traits: You often spend excessive time planning and researching. You have trouble both getting started and feeling like things are finished.
When I bought the book Do It Scared it was right when Ruth Soukup launched it, so along with the book I received 3 bonuses as well. One of the bonuses was a personalized detailed assessment of my fear archetype. And let me tell you, as evidenced in the above 2 statements, how scary accurate that assessment was!
Holy crap. Did she hit the nail right on the head. True story, I’ve been stuck writing this blog post because I wanted it to be perfect, well thought out, and organized. But, I have to remind myself that done is better than perfect. And yes, I remind myself this on a DAILY basis. It makes sense that Soukup had a team of psychologist working together with her on this research in order to create the 7 fear archetypes.
Here are the 7 types of fear archetypes Soukup talks about in the book:
The Procrastinator: When you’re most afraid of making a mistake
This is my personal favorite and also my number one fear, when I took the test. The Procrastinator is also known as The Perfectionist. And, if you know me IRL you know just how true this really is! But, I am pretty sure I’ve been this way my whole life!
2. The Rule Follower: When you’re most afraid of coloring outside the lines
I think we all know a few people in our lives who are the Rule Followers. These are the ones who can’t help themselves with following all of the rules, who are also the ones afraid of breaking the rules. These are the people who tend to be stuck on how things are supposed to be done.
3. The People Pleaser: When you’re most afraid of what other people will think
We all probably have a basic understanding of what a people pleaser is, but no one has articulated this as being a fear so well as Soukup has….
A big part of your fear of being judged or of letting people down comes from the script that plays inside your head--a script that says others might not love or except you if you don't perform the way you think they want you to. (Page 46)
4. The Outcast: When you’re most afraid of rejection
As it turns out, most entrepreneurs test as The Outcast for their number one fear archetype. Which is extremely interesting to me. I definitely know a few people who are considered The Outcast in my life…. Here’s what Soukup says about re-framing this fear archetype on pages 57 and 58:
If your fear is that people will reject you or let you down, perhaps you can rewrite that script to say, “Just because someone tells me no or disagrees with my idea doesn't mean they are rejecting me as a person.”
5. The Self-Doubter: When you’re most afraid that you’re not enough
My heart goes out to those of you who are self-doubters. Because the truth of the matter is, you are enough! Your work is valuable. You are rocking it in the world, and you don’t even know it.
As a Self-Doubter or you may feel down about yourself when something doesn't go quite right or when you make a mistake or experience of failure. But it's important to remember that mistakes and failure are just a normal part of life. (Page 69)
6. The Excuse Maker: When you’re most afraid of taking responsibility
I’ve seen the Excuse Maker play out in real life, and it is shocking. People not wanting to take responsibility for themselves, their own feelings, etc… I think the reason why this one is the most shocking is because I have such a strong sense of responsibility, that seeing the opposite unfold in front of me is baffling.
Also known as the blame shifter the excuse maker archetype struggles most with the fear of taking responsibility which can also manifest itself as the fear of being held accountable for the fear of being found at fault (Page 74)
7. The Pessimist: When you’re most afraid of adversity
I think The Pessimist can manifest itself different ways within a person. When I have encountered The Pessimist I get the sense that the person has a dark cloud, Eeyore, type of attitude happening within themselves.
Often a casualty of circumstances outside her control the pessimist archetype struggles most with the fear of adversity which often manifests itself as the fear of struggling through hard things or the fear of pain. (Page 85)
I am curious to know, does a particular one resonate with you the most? Let me know in the comments section!
One of the really cool things about this book, Do It Scared, is that it does not just stick with the 7 fear archetypes. It’s actually divided up into 3 sections. The first section is devoted to detailing out the 7 fear archetypes with creative examples, and some tangible and specific ways you can move forward within that fear. The second section gets very personal. Soukup shares about her upbringing and how, in her mid-twenties, she felt like she had hit the bottom of the barrel with nowhere to go, and nothing to live for. This section is truly transformational and inspiring. The last section brings it home with practical ways to think in terms of big goals and making an actionable plan for yourself to accomplish those big scary goals.
...but here's the problem with waiting to be rescued -- life doesn't work that way! Most of the time, the people around us are far too busy trying to keep up with their own busy, chaotic, and frustrating lives to worry about saving you from yours…. You don't need a hero. You are not a damsel in distress! (Page 123)
When I was younger I would always find myself waiting for opportunities to come to me. I somehow thought that I shouldn't be the one to seek out the opportunity, but that the opportunity should seek me out. But that was a very twisted way of thinking. Fast forward 30 years, and here I am creating all of the opportunities for myself. And yes, a good portion of that is all about who you know. And yes, another good portion of that is breaking out of your shell and networking. You see, sometimes you have to be the one to take the first step, to create the opportunity for yourself. It’s even something my mom drilled into me when I was growing up, is that you have to stand up and speak up for yourself.
I think it's also worth mentioning at this point how Soukup is a proponent of finding your tribe. Finding a mentor, and basically creating a support system for yourself. Those trusted individuals where you know you can turn to and ask the hard business questions. I'm grateful that I have a few online business besties that I can turn to and ask questions. The online business mentors I have had are just a couple. I don't necessarily have an online business mentor who I can just call someone up, and have coffee with them to ask for feedback or their wisdom/advice. But, I am on the path of finding my tribe for this online business! Just recently I went to my very first meetup group near me for local entrepreneurs. And, even though my introverted self was scared to go, I still went! I have a couple other meetup groups I’ve signed up for, and will continue to branch out and network with those in my area.
In a culture that pays a lot of lip service to striving for balance in all aspects of our life the idea of obsession gets a bad rap… But is that really true? I don't think so. Greatness almost always comes from obsession… Over and over, the story is the same. Years of practice. Intense dedication. Personal sacrifice. Relentless pursuit. In fact I would dare to assert that behind every truly notable achievement is a person who is willing to get obsessive. (Page 144)
It's funny because this thought is one of those things where I've always had this intuition of jumping in with both feet into something. Whether that's a passion, or a sport, or whatever it is in life you feel obsessive about it. Go at it with 100% of your being. Be encouraged that it’s okay to get obsessive while you’re building a business, or getting a hold of your finances, or trying out a new skill. Being all in on your passion will continue to drive your desire. So go ahead, and just do it… Don’t worry about what others are saying.
Not only was the last section of Do It Scared super helpful as far as envisioning what your big dreams are and how you can make this big dreams a reality, but the middle section where she is vulnerable with her audience... really really raw and vulnerable was also helpful because I think we need to see these types of examples in our lives. We need those moments where we can relate to not having it all, and not being perfect. Even for me with starting this business, I needed to start from somewhere and whether or not it is successful in my mind is not the right question. It's “how am I showing up for myself, and for this business every day?”
I leave you now with these last two quotes from the book. I hope you are encouraged to move forward and Do It Scared. I hope that you feel the strength to jump in with both feet remembering that you can and will conquer your fears if you just take that first step.
There is a fate worse than failure--far worse. A consequence of not trying that will ultimately haunt us far longer than the repercussions of making a mistake or the fallout from trying and failing. It's the pain of regret. (Page 138)
Don't forget--The flutter in your stomach and it and the tightening in your chest are indications of the good kind of fear, the self-preservation kind of fear that kicks in when you need to do things you don't think you can do. (Page 167)
Interested in learning more? Take the Do It Scared assessment here: https://assessment.doitscared.com/
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